crocmartens:
don’t you just want to pick up all the people you like in the world and just have a giant picnic and listen to music while passing around scones that would be nice
(via thesatisfactorygatsby)
That time in Year 9 when I thought ‘premature ejaculation’ meant having sex at a young age.
Courtney: “Did you hear Nick, that goodlooking guy in year seven did it with his girlfriend? And apparently she wasn’t a virgin before starting high school”
Me: Omg, talk about premature ejaculation!
And then I didn’t get it when everyone laughed. They thought I was being deliberately funny.
Just had a rather enjoyable chuckle to myself as I went to save my essay and this dialogue came up:
‘Word is saving Hamlet’
Alas, poor Yorick. Why must Microsoft think they can save Hamlet against the evils of Claudius when they can’t even convince me to buy the upgraded 2010 version of their software?
I wrote a sentence about Shakespeare and threw in a crafty thought regarding the human condition. This deserves at least an hour long break on the internet, because you know I will attain an ATAR of 90 + by playing that helicopter game on the computer.
(Source: thelingerieaddict, via therealbbyron)
(via theyareafraid)
You know you’ve got a great friend when you can admit your dirtiest fantasies to them and they’re not weirded out.
I love you Nina!!
tio-salamanca:
I could never be your woman (2007)
“I Could Never Be Your Woman” /Photoset 2/
(Source: lovelymichellepfeiffer)
bedazzledburka:
“can I keep the condom” she whispered into his ear just seconds after ejaculation.
(Source: inotrope, via sexy-shims)
singlecellorganisms:
twelve-jammy-badgers:
“Come south with me, and I’ll teach you how to laugh again”
omg
Mine was “Come south with me” as well
good stuff
The best thing a cunt can be is small and unobtrusive: the anxiety about the bigness of the penis is only equalled by the anxiety about the smallness of the cunt.
(Source: loveclaire)
- Middle Name: Claire
- Would you rather be shorter than average or taller than average? This is a somewhat perplexing question as I am already shorter than average, yet if I was taller than average I’d make for an awkward partner. However, if I were taller than average I could possibly have those really lovely, long legs that tall girls have. All in all though, I think I’d stick with shorter than average.
- Do you enjoy the smell of petrol and fumes such as permanent markers? No actually. In fact, I hold my breath for as long as possible at the petrol station because I hate the smell of petrol so much. It makes me feel sick and dizzy. The smell of permanent markers on the other hand, intrigue me but I wouldn’t say I enjoy that either. It’s just something about it that makes your nose linger over the tip of the marker for longer than you probably should.
- “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I’m not quite sure because there’s my proffessional life to think about, but also my personal life. I’d certainly like to become a sophisticated traveller and definitely someone who has lots of knowledge about important issues. In terms of a definite career though I honestly have no idea.
- List five of the geekiest things that you do.I once spent a whole summer playing Monopoly and didn’t even regret it. I still love Monopoly in fact. I have also read the Macquarie Dictionary before. It resulted in me being rather pompous for awhile. I read the introductory parts to books like 1984, Catch 22, Lord of the Flies, Middlemarch, Jane Eyre and Crime and Punishment. I did Extension 2 for a bit and came third, while also managing to write 4000 words of a Critical Response as the medium of my Major Work. I have begun to annotate and analyse my copies of ‘A Series of Unfortunate Events’ just because I plan on writing an essay on their extreme ambiguities and the myriad of puzzles within the work as a complete whole. But that is just for fun.
- Do you read magazines, shampoo bottles, or the closest reading material available in the toilet? In the Spotlight toilets there are warning messages of rape. I read those and get the hell out of there.
- What radio station do you automatically tune devices to? Triple J
- If you could listen to one meme (of the musical kind) i.e. Rick Roll, Leek Spin, Nyan Cat, Epic Sax Guy, Mud-KIP, Taking The Hobbits To Isengard… and so on… for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? Epic Sax Guy because I really love the sax! It doesn’t bother me listening to it over and over again. And there are different tunes. It also reminds me of Lisa and Bleeding Gums Murphy.
- List your favourite material object of recent acquirement. My Pink Floyd cons
- List a bad habit. My compulsive indulgence of sweet foods even though I know I am at a higher risk than most people my age, of procurring type 2 diabetes.
- Are you a glass half empty, or glass half full sort of a person? It depends if it’s a drink I really like.
Sleep, where did you go? I wasn’t this tired when I thought it was only six thirty!! Mum, why did you have to alert me to the truth?
Today will be okay. It’s Friday and I might get down and such. Dominic Day today, which should be swell and then I get to come home, do a little bit of organising for my Modern assessment next week and then later tonight: watch the last few minutes of New Zealand’s Next Top Model (like as mocking thing…oh dear god I hope I’m not involved) AND THEN SEX AND THE CITY.
Yewww, Friday I’m in love.
(via bonomie)
litera-scripta-manet:
I wish I had been born a metaphor, but I’m just a girl with blood in my veins and nuclei in my cells. I taste like lips and feel like skin and my heart beats for no purpose other than keeping me in the land of the living. But I will grow old and I will grow weary and no amount of anything will anchor me in time. I am bones and ligaments and milk teeth, endorphins and keratin and acid — mortal, literal and real.
I know little of anatomy but I know I’m not much else.
(via bonomie)